msjorje: (normal?)
After a 3-day weekend, it was a bit rough to leave Sasha. She wasn't happy about it. I had to keep telling myself that when I would come home "for lunch" I would be home for the day! She gets over the separation right away. Work was good. We discussed job responsibilities and schedules for weekly / monthly tasks.

I worked hard, but was welcomed to take a break whenever I needed one. I drank plenty of water. After work, I went to my dad's to trade trucks! We no longer have our red F-150 4x4. We now have a white F-150 Super Duty with a King Cab. We can now take our children with us, not just one at a time! Also, this truck is all set for towing and has the power to do it! I so appreciate Dad's support on our dreams. We need to get our trailer VERY soon, before Spring hits and the prices go up. Otherwise we'll be waiting until Fall and not have the extra time for changes or fixes.

I was home just a later than "usual" to have lunch with Sasha. Now we'll do laundry. It will be nice to not have to do it on the weekends.

Bad Day®

Oct. 29th, 2010 10:04 pm
msjorje: (tired)
Today was costume day at work for Halloween. Fun stuff, right? We had some cute ones. The FedEx Fairy was, by far, the best! (He looked great in his tutu and tiara, carrying a wand!) Though the goddess was also impressive. I dressed as a FedEx Home Delivery driver. I know, not very imaginative, but I've had the shirt for a while and needed an excuse to wear it.

However, I had a Bad Day®. By the time I got home, the last thing I wanted to be wearing was a FedEx uniform. So, I stripped down naked. Tyler hadn't been available for me to pick up yet. Of course, it seemed that as soon as I settled... she was available.

The stress of my day had me absolutely exhausted. I had already been near tears a time or two through my day. I was in a piss poor mood and surely pleasant company, not. Elmo snapped at me. I S.T.F.U. Then I got dressed to fetch Tyler. At least him snapping at me got me motivated because prior to that, I didn't want to move.

I went to the phone store to pick up a cover for my phone. Elmo texted apologizing for snipping at me. While I didn't think he was out of line, it had certainly been a slap in the <emotional> face, so I appreciated the apology. I always appreciate his apologies, not that they are often necessary.

I picked up Tyler and dinner for the three of us (from two different places). Then we came home. I have simply NOT been able to shake this mood all fucking afternoon. I spent quite a while on the verge of tears and my eyes actually leaked a bit several times. Then it hit me... it is that time. It is time for my emotions to be out of control in one direction or another. Greaaaat. At least I've gotten laid this month.

So I'm feeling pathetically pitiful and find that I am increasingly desperate for a face-to-face social outlet. We've discussed a "movie night" even if it isn't at night. Our schedules are just so... opposite! I was hoping to go to the Dead Sexy, Rock n Roll Zombie Burlesque show at the Nightingale Theater downtown, but no one else seemed to be going and I felt awkward about taking Sasha. Plus, I was just in such a horrible funk. It didn't seem very nice to expose the outside world to my attitude. Besides, I have to work in the morning anyway. Sigh. I need to do something soon, socially.
msjorje: (normal?)
Sasha has just started walking backwards!

My employer has changed insurance companies, as of January 1. We are really hoping our doctor takes whatever this new company is!

Tyler had an F in a class, but was able to turn in a lost / found assignment and now has an A again.

There was something else about Sasha, but I forget.

A plan is in place for me to quit my 2nd job by the end of November. I plan to put November's extra income into savings and then I'll have it for Giftmas or whatever, but mostly to show myself that I can survive November without it.

I sometimes sit Sasha on the big toilet front-ways lately. She does just fine. I just place her depending on her whim. If she won't sit backward, I try frontward. She only likes to pee in her BBLP if Daddy is peeing in the big toilet at the same time.

The guest toilet in my new apartment backs up just about every time its used! We now own FOUR plungers! I've had maintenance out to unclog (plunge or snake) it numerous times. I've literally forgotten how many! So... they've ordered a replacement toilet for us! One arrived, but it was broken during shipping.

Speaking of the apartment, I hate my dishwasher! It is ancient! It doesn't do a great job, so I wind up washing everything before I wash it! Also, all the tines are bent and many are missing the rubber layer over them (already ruined a pan in there). Some tines are missing altogether! It recently started leaking! So... maintenance is getting us a new dishwasher because this one has rusted out in the bottom. Yay!

Just as I wondered what could be wrong with my oven (so I can get it replaced, too)... It is as old as the dishwasher, for starters. However, it bakes just fine, if a little fast. The burners are a little crooked, but the larger front burner is really crooked. It also disconnects on its own. So when you turn it on you have to bump it back into place to connect. When Elmo did that, though, it shocked him! So... perhaps a new oven soon, too. Wonder how much my rent will go up when our lease ends!

Sasha's new game tonight is for me to balance stuff on her head! Oh! And the other Sasha thing was that she has learned the push-Mommy-over game (thanks to Mommy) and loves it. This started out after diaper changes, I'd pull her up to a seated position and fall back myself. Now she'll actually push me.

We are really looking forward to the Oklahoma Reptile Show this weekend! We're hoping to find some new tarantulas. Plus we have Tyler this weekend, so she gets to go with us!
msjorje: (spider)
So last night the temperature got down pretty low (compared to recently). So this morning, the guys at work found a huge Oklahoma Brown Tarantula on the wall in the warehouse! Knowing I'm such a spider (esp. tarantula) freak, I couple of people sent me pictures of it. Someone was even trying to catch it for me!

I got my largest cage out of the closet, rinsed it, and put some fresh substrate in it. On my way to work it occurred to me that I probably should have taken something to catch the spider since I didn't know if they'd caught it or not. I got to work and Lia immediately took me out to the dock to find it with me. This is funny because she has arachnophobia. On our way out, we saw the cleaning guy and he asked if we were looking for it (I was, after all, carrying a cage). He pointed across the building to an Exit sign. The black spot on the top right corner? That is the spider! Holy cow, we could see it from across the warehouse! "Huge!" I thought. We got over to it and I backed a tugger up to the wall so I could stand on it. I put the cage up against the side of the Exit sign and slid the spider into it using the lid. I had caught it in about 2 seconds! No problem! And, it was NOT that big! Turned out to be an adult male, so he is small.

Courtney said Kelsey was the one who claimed it was as large as his fist (and he is not a small guy). When he got back from lunch and looked at my new pet, he said it wasn't the same one! He said this one is half the size! We referred back to pictures and sure enough... the one Kelsey had seen was a larger one, most likely a female! Lia and I (and then some other folks) went back out to hunt, but she was gone. I need to take all my gear to work, though. As fall blows into town, we'll likely see more of them!

I was SO giddy! And lots of people had questions about spiders and tarantulas. I love to talk about them! So it made for a great day!

I've had an Oklahoma Brown before and am keeping this little guy in the same cage. [ profile] lisamoe let her sons catch "Special K" for me. I haven't named this new one yet... and I'm open to suggestions!
msjorje: (tulsa)
Cross-posted to [ profile] tulsatime

FedEx Ground is hiring Package Handlers again. The shifts are Mon - Fri 530pm - 10pm and Tues - Sat 330am - 830am. The evening job starts at $9.20 per hour now. The early morning shift starts at $9.70 per hour.

Just come by for a terminal sort observation to apply. You can come Mon - Fri at 6:30pm or Tues - Sat at 6:15am. You must be in acceptable dock attire or you will not be allowed to complete a sort observation. This would include jeans or shorts, work shoes or work boots, t-shirts or sleeveless shirts. Wedding rings are acceptable, but no other jewelry is allowed.

No shirts with large lettering or logos, profanity, nude or semi-nude pictures, sexually suggestive slogans, cartoons or drawings. No dresses or skirts. No non-work shoes. No backpacks, bags, or purses. No personal radios, iPods, or cell phones. No weapons of any kind.

  • Three pay increases within the first 6 months of employment.
  • Tuition assistance.
  • Career advancement opportunity
  • Weekly paycheck / direct deposit
  • ConSern Education Loan program

  • Must be at least 18 years of age
  • No longer in high school
  • Must pass a background check
  • Must be able to load, unload and sort packages, as well as perform other related duties

Come by the Tulsa Ground Terminal at 12615 E Apache St N in Tulsa, 74116.
msjorje: (tulsa)
So I went to work at noon today. Thankfully, I only live 8 minutes from work, so I can spend as much time home as possible. It took an hour of talking to bosses before I got to a computer. That included working out why I didn't get paid today, though.

Everyone was excited to see me back to work, but then the office staff would immediately say they were glad I'd be there to help with the phones. Um, hello? When I'm out in my cage... the phones don't ring out there.

I caught up on some of my 2 months worth of email. I got one set of reports printed (2 months worth, but it was only a weekly report), checked, and then reported on them. I pumped while I practiced for two 10 Key Certification tests I had to take. I got a good amount of milk. Then I took (and aced) my tests. Well, I aced one and passed the other. I really wanted to re-test, but since I passed it wasn't necessary.

Meanwhile, Sasha was at home with Daddy crying more than she usually does. She has been fussier recently anyway, but I guess she really did miss Mommy a lot. I felt selfish as I've been so worried about how I would do on my first day away, I didn't really worry about how she would do. I guess that speaks volumes about my confidence in Elmo. She ate a lot, then still nursed when I came home for lunch. And I did race home for lunch!

I got home, half stripped and immediately offered up the tit. I also walked her a bit. Then I cooked my lunch and nursed her at the same time. That is tricky, especially without wearing a sling! I did manage to get her down for a nap before I ate / left. I'm glad I can come home and give Daddy a break.

Sasha slept for a little over 2 hours. Of course as soon as Daddy tried for a nap, she was awake. Meanwhile I learned a new skill at work (a really easy one) which I had to do next to a big open door. It was far too cold for that! I didn't dress for that kind of cold! I also had another good pump session, only this time I didn't have much else to do at the same time so it was boring. I did study some work stuff, but it didn't take very long.

I finally made it out to my actual cage. I got some work done. And then I was OUT of there. I picked Veronica up at my mom's place (thank you Mom!!) and came home. I think I was in an even bigger hurry after work than I was at lunch. Sasha was, again, eating and cranky when I got home. She nursed, I visited with Elmo a bit while he had a break, and bid him goodnight. Sasha was a little fussy, even nursing in my lap, but she went to sleep quickly on my shoulder.

Now Veronica has also gone to bed. Sasha is asleep in the bassinet and I am getting my surf on. I need to go work some tomorrow, so I'll probably go to bed soon. Wow, my day is gone so fast. I didn't get to see Elmo much. This schedule is going to be hard. But we both know we're doing this for Sasha. No better motivation for us. She is worth it.

I was worried I wouldn't be ready to go to bed early enough (since I plan to go to work when Elmo gets home in the morning), but I'm already tired. And I don't know what sort of eating schedule I'm going to have. I snacked during the first half of my shift. I was starving for lunch. I snacked during the second half. I ate my daily oatmeal dose, but otherwise don't feel terribly hungry.
msjorje: (down)
Things fell through, the red tape didn't get completed, so I wasn't able to return to work on Thursday. This was convenient. It meant that Daddy & Sasha's first day home alone together (for this long, anyway) will be HOME together instead of out to the dentist with Samantha (Elmo's first daughter) and her mother. Today is a much better choice for a first day, I think.

That said, I had really figured the red tape wouldn't work out in time for today, either. So yesterday I was holding my breath til noon, I forgot to just hold my breath today. I was already set to stay home. So the news was disappointing. I am also relieved, though, as I really need the money. I think this check is the one I use for my bike payment. If not, there are other bills, too!

So... I'm off to work in an hour. Sigh. I'm going to miss my family so badly!
msjorje: (np Mad Griznit)
So I finally visited work today. I got my review pushed through another step. It is in my inbox now to review and send to the next step. Trouble is, I can't remember the password to access the site I have to go to for reviewing it. I requested the password, but it didn't come fast enough. I gave up and came home. I hope they are sending it to the right email address. Ugh.

I talked to my immediate manager about the schedule to get an idea of how set in stone the senior manager is on it. My manager says it is the right thing to do, from a business stand point. Great. The women in the office said the senior manager was like a dad that just got you a gift that was really the wrong thing entirely, but they think they did SO good and they get all excited about it. Okay... so that means maybe he is willing to adjust. So after waiting for a meeting to end, I went in to talk to him.

Um... no. I'm still going to be stuck with noon to nine. However, he is not entirely unreasonable and has kids (grown) of his own. He doesn't want to mess up my visitation with my daughter. He is not, however, willing to change my entire schedule to earlier. He wants someone there during the evening, which will be helpful during peak season. During the Giftmas season, we get a LOT of residential stuff. It will be easier to reach most of those people in the evening. So hopefully we can make more changes after the new year... or maybe we'll just be totally loving the schedule by then. Ugh.

The compromise is that I can take some extra time off in the middle of my days on visitation days and then just make them up on Saturday. Because everyone wants to stretch their 40 hours out to a 6 day work week every week, right?? This will certainly relieve us of the need for a sitter, but I worry about whether Elmo will get enough sleep. I guess he can just plan to have Sasha asleep when he needs to be asleep. Which means she would already be in bed when I got home... that would suck. It would be easier for us to get a sitter in the evening anyway, if we needed to do that so he can rest.

I have all these details and worries whirling around in my head and I just want to cry. So I'm eating chocolate. I am finding that I am hungry for all my comfort foods. Maybe I just don't deal well with change... at least not when it is brought upon me by someone else. Sigh. I hate this.

At the same time, I am just generally dreading going back to work anyway. I foresee lots of tears at least in the beginning. I don't want to leave my baby. I didn't have to leave my girls when they were babies. I wish I could work from home, but it isn't that simple. Hell, I wish I could be a housewife! But that isn't going to happen either!
msjorje: (sasha)
So I called the doctor's office very early this morning. The receptionist offered to have me come in to see the nurse. Then if it really was bad, they'd get the doctor in, too. We agreed to come in right away.

While waiting for the nurse to call us back, my phone rang. It was the Senior Manager from work (top boss in the building). He just wanted to give me a heads up that when I return to work they will have me working a different schedule. Elmo had warned me that this might be coming. Still, it came as a huge shock to me when he said I'd be working noon to nine. WTF?! Um... I have visitation with Veronica 2 afternoons per week. There is absolutely no way I could see her during the week on that schedule! In fact, I couldn't even see her until late Friday on the weekends that I had her. I also couldn't do Girl Scouts unless our meetings get moved to the weekends... which would be jacked up, too.

Add to that: With Elmo working 4:15am to nearly 8:00, I wouldn't see him much at all. Mind you, I've been prepared for that possibility as I try to figure out child care anyway. I just didn't expect that my schedule would be the one changing, much less so drastically!

After almost crying twice about the belly button already, I was too close to the emotional edge for this news. I managed to keep my cool while on the phone with the boss. After all, he wasn't asking for my agreement anyway, he was just being nice and letting me know now. What.Ever. But once I was off the phone, the waterworks came. Ugh.

I had just wiped my tears away (on a burp rag) when Yolanda called us. Ugh. We went back and got Sasha unzipped. We didn't have to strip her or weight her or any of that. Yolanda was very reassuring. She started with alcohol wipes, but then got big cotton swabs and a bottle of alcohol. She was trying to get the rest of the dried up umbilical cord to detach. She told us that the yellow was just fresh, raw skin. It wasn't scabbed over and really wouldn't with the dried up bit covering it. It was really stuck down, too. She finally offered to twist it off. We agreed. She was being very gentle with us, it was kind of funny. Sasha made a peep and she stopped, but we both said she was just talking so she continued. She didn't fuss really during the entire visit and Yolanda went through several cotton swabs. The crusty bit finally fell off! She asked if we wanted to save it. heh Um, no!

So, that is done... but she still needs more healing time before she can get in the water. Bummer. Yolanda said we can come back Monday if we'd like and she'll look at it again. I thought that was cool, too. I really like our doctor's office! Oh, and before we left, Yolanda was reassuring us again that it wasn't infection. She said she had babies come in with 3 layers of clothes on and she could smell the infection from down the hall! Ew! She got real close to sniff Sasha's belly button and agreed there was no infection. Yay!
msjorje: (angry)
I'm going to be on leave from work for at least 6 weeks. No one here (not even members of management) knows everything I do. I have someone set aside that will be covering for me, but they won't let me train him. Oh wait, I got to have him for 15-30 minutes yesterday morning and this morning before they stole him away to go cover something else. And Tony keeps pointing out that I have him in the afternoon. Yeah, he is IN my cage, but he is covering for someone ELSE that is gone. And all of the managers know how to cover THAT job fairly well.

Keith (the guy doing my job when I'm gone) and I are both quite frustrated. To make matters worse, this morning when Tony came to take him away, he stayed for another 15 minutes to make a bunch of empty promises about how they'd TRY not to take him from QA and he keeps minimizing the difficulty of my job. FUCK YOU! He keeps promising that he'll help Keith. Except he DOES NOT KNOW how to do my job either! He THINKS he does, but he fucks it up just as bad as anyone else does.

As history has shown, when I am gone, numbers go to shit. QA looks like ass and packages go missing. If I am gone 2 days, it takes 4 to fix it. If I'm gone 5, it takes 10 to fix it. See the pattern there? I'm going to be gone for at least 6 WEEKS! That is 12 WEEKS to fix it! That is 3 fucking months! And I will NOT answer the phone for them all day while I'm gone. I will be recooperating and that does NOT include working from home.

Anyway, it was all the empty promises that got me so fucking worked up. By the time he finally fucking walked away (after much ignoring and simply nodding), I was nauseated. Thats right, I wanted to vomit. I haven't felt nauseated in months. Thanks so much Tony. So THAT made me cry, which exacerbates the nausea.

I can hear Elmo in my head, "stay calm for our baby." So... then I just feel bad that I'm so fucking stressed. I've done pretty well not letting this get to me too much until Tony had to come poke at me. I just so bad wanted Elmo to be able to come over here and calm me down, but he is busy. We're both just glad they didn't move HIM too. He got stuck in the tower again yesterday. He is working nearby again today.

Ugh, I gotta shut up and focus on all my fucking work now. I can't lift anything over 20 pounds without feeling sick, so it really sucks that they took my other person away. With Elmo close, though, I can get him to move packages for me.

msjorje: (angry)
I have been feeling generally bitter lately. I don't care for it. This afternoon I could tell I was headed downhill, feeling bitter and not liking myself very much.

I went to a walk-in place for an eye exam. While I was completing my paperwork, they pulled up my ID in the system and said my insurance was canceled or pending activation. Excuse me?? I've had insurance for a couple of years now. WTF? So I call my Vision Insurance company. and wait. and wait. "We'll answer your call in... 5 minutes. We'll answer your call in... 5 minutes. We'll answer your call in... 5 minutes.

We'll answer your call in...4 minutes." You get the idea. I finally get someone! I explain the problem, providing further information that I DID have my now ex-husband removed from coverage, but *I* was supposed to continue coverage. She says something about when I was changed from primary to dependent. Dependent?? Um... why the fuck would I change my status to dependent when divorced?? I had to fax HR them ALL KINDS of paperwork! She says I'll have to contact my benefits department. Great. I can't really do that from the waiting room. So I leave. They might be able to get me in tomorrow, though they close early. Ugh.

The place was not nearly as convenient to LEAVE as it was to get to from home.

I come home and check my pay stubs. Sure enough, they STOPPED pulling money out of my pay for insurance. ANY insurance. This might explain why BCBS didn't pay my urologist! I get a friggin' phone number for HR. I even manage to get a human being on the other end of the line. Her system goes down. Just for me. They were in just a few minutes ago for someone else, but no one there can get into it now. She'll call me back when it is working again, but she leaves for the day in half an hour. Someone else will be there for half an hour longer than that, should I decide to try calling in again.

I want to get my eyes checked NOW, before the end of the year. My coverage provides for glasses or 1 year supply of contacts. Only I have to have special expensive contacts, so my insurance only covers six months worth of them. So it pays to go and the end of the year and then I can go again in six months if I want or need. Plus I paid for vision insurance for most of the year for Joe and I both. For what? He didn't get his eye exam, either. I was going to go in early December, but just could not find the time with all my projects and extra work. Ugh. So.Pissed.

UPDATE: I called the HR office again. Another person there did find that I *AM* still paying for benefits. My digital pay stubs through their website do show that I am still paying for them. I don't know why my printed pay stub from August doesn't show it. Anyway, she has left a message with the account rep at the Vision coverage place... more waiting. Fookers.
msjorje: (tired)
Today I am thankful for my very own chipper attitude on my last workday before Giftmas. I deal with people that are frantic to get their gifts for their loved ones. (Order them early, people!) Today I was not as slammed, didn't have much help, and was able to simply take my time and make / take lots of extra calls to help people get their precious cargo. I had a lighthearted attitude with people and genuinely wanted to help them, so they were all very nice to me as well. A lot of people were jovial about how surprising it was that I was working at all... but I simply explained that we wanted to get as many presents to people as we could.

I really was living the "Purple Promise" today! and it felt pretty good.

I'm just as tired as I would expect to be, though, after working another 9½ hour workday. It was, at least, a bit more leisurely than it has been lately. And of course my fudge went over very well!

I am also thankful that I can now look forward to FOUR DAYS OFF IN A ROW!! What better way to finish off Peak season?!
msjorje: (red02)
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