Welcome to My Roller Coaster

After a 3-day weekend, it was a bit rough to leave Sasha. She wasn't happy about it. I had to keep telling myself that when I would come home "for lunch" I would be home for the day! She gets over the separation right away. Work was good. We discussed job responsibilities and schedules for weekly / monthly tasks.

I worked hard, but was welcomed to take a break whenever I needed one. I drank plenty of water. After work, I went to my dad's to trade trucks! We no longer have our red F-150 4x4. We now have a white F-150 Super Duty with a King Cab. We can now take our children with us, not just one at a time! Also, this truck is all set for towing and has the power to do it! I so appreciate Dad's support on our dreams. We need to get our trailer VERY soon, before Spring hits and the prices go up. Otherwise we'll be waiting until Fall and not have the extra time for changes or fixes.

I was home just a later than "usual" to have lunch with Sasha. Now we'll do laundry. It will be nice to not have to do it on the weekends.

I live a pretty public life. I'm not famous or anything, but I am an open book. I will answer just about any question, no matter how private. I post things about my private life online without fear, mostly. If it is something I'm not ready for the entire world (or particular people) to know yet, I filter it to friends only. Makes sense, right? Well....

I've been trying to get up the nerve to talk to my dad about our vehicular needs. I had originally told him we wanted to trade the truck for an automatic car that would hold all four of us (Elmo, myself, Tyler and Sasha). However, with our dreams of travel, we really need a 5th wheel truck that will still hold all four of us. Five, really, since we'd like to have another child.

After wimping out and procrastinating once or maybe twice, I was planning on calling my dad today about meeting for lunch. I wanted to get him one-on-one to discuss it. Then he called me. He was in the neighborhood and coming by to see me, but wanted to make sure I was home. That is how he works quite often. Last time he called me from my parking lot. Great! I was glad to see him.

He mentioned our upcoming move before I did. He said he'd heard it from Jenny. I wasn't as nervous about bringing that up, but then... I didn't have to. Then he tells me he'd already heard of my plans to "travel the world." Really? Tyler went home last night knowing that we're moving soon. I have been talking to her a little about traveling. So my first thought was that she talked a lot about it when she got back home last night, but she wouldn't have said "travel the world." My dad does tend to exaggerate, though. He tells me Jenny got it from my blog.

<pause>

My first thought? Alright, that is what I get for posting publicly. I was surprised to hear that she was reading my journal since she <understandably> unfriended me a few years ago (right after the split). It made for an easy conversation with Dad so... no harm, no foul, right? But then I vacillated through the day between thinking it made things easier and being kind of ticked about it. It was not her place to tell him anything about my life. They are friends and I understand that. Sometimes I'm hesitant to tell my own dad stuff that isn't any of her or Joe's business because I'm afraid he'll tell them.

So I've been stewing on this journal entry all afternoon around my other tasks of the day. I finally sat down at the computer and noticed something... all of the entries about travel (except about wishing for Benny) are filtered. That means she can't access them. So, even worse than the idea of her reading my journal (which wouldn't actually bother me)... someone I trust is talking about what is in my journal to people that are NOT.

Sigh.

Ugh.

Now what? Do I remove all my friends? Do I remove all my friends that know my exes? Do I post everything as private? Will any of you fess up to it? (and possibly apologize?) Hell, I'm not even sure if THIS post should be filtered or not. I mean, what is the point?